There is a man here, I will call him Sam. I know very little about his social history, but I know some of his medical history. He appears to be in his 40’s and he has had HIV for at least 5 years. He has had cancer that has resulted in his penis and some of his bowels being removed. Please, Stay with me. He now has a colostomy and lymphadema (constant, painful swelling) in his left leg; he has been through a lot. When he arrived here the nurse told me he was hoping we had some new treatment for him, but there is no further medical treatment here.
Sam is a pretty outgoing guy, but he was quiet when he first arrived. Little by little, his true self and kindness become more evident. On more than one occasion he has been extremely helpful to both Susan and myself. He also helps out other patients with regularity. Whether it is delivering a treat to another person, helping a patient open their medications, or letting us know that someone would like to go to bed, he is always in tune with everyone(or what nurses term the ‘milieu’). Speaking of in-tune, he was also one of Susan’s strongest singers as they performed ‘Jingle Bells’ at the Christmas Concert.
The joy that he can cause to wash over people’s faces is unparalleled, and that is saying something. At this point he is pretty gaunt, but like Brad Pitt in 'Ocean’s Eleven', he is always eating something. Also, he will always offer to share. Today, I caught him delivering another patient his walker. There is something about seeing a man carrying a walker to another patient while dragging his own walker that gives you pause!
One relationship that I have recently taken note of is between Sam and Noreen (also a fake name). Noreen is slightly older than Sam, but she is mostly non-verbal due to a stroke. He just has her dialed in like no one I have seen. As Christmas arrived, I thought he was her secret buddy as he lent her his phone to listen to the radio; for almost a week she would be peacefully sitting out front of the building as the sun came up, contently listening to the radio. He is also the only one I have seen who is able to tease her in a way that never upsets her. Sometimes she will playfully bat at him, look at him sideways, or just smile and silently laugh. It has been fun to watch their friendship grow over such a short time.
I know that Sam has days where he is in significant physical pain, but he never lets on. At this point he is also well aware that he is dying, though he carries that knowledge with extreme grace. He is so kind and supportive, and he seems to spread his love around so effortlessly. It is really a thing of beauty, and a blessing to witness.